A populist doesn’t have friends who leak texts to an editor at the New York Times. We know the whole drop-off thing was false because we’ve seen Cruz’s wife Heidi’s group text chat planning the trip with some Houston friends. Or better yet, a buddy’s pullout couch at Secrets, Dreams, Temptation or the Fiesta Americana.ĭespite having a rolling suitcase, Cruz said he was just flying to Cancún to drop off his daughters. A real populist stays at Secrets, Dreams, Temptation or the Fiesta Americana. All he had to say was “pandemic.” He didn’t have to mention “leadership,” “responsibility” or “people sleeping in their cars.”īut he really blew it when he booked his rooms at the Ritz-Carlton.Ī real populist does not stay at a Ritz-Carlton. They’d blurt out something about crime or tell them that college admissions directors subscribe to Señor Frog’s Instagram page.Ĭruz didn’t need any of those excuses to reject his daughters’ request for an international vacation. If the daughter of anyone I know said she wanted to go to Cancún, her parents would search for excuses to say no. It’s a town where, early last year, a hotel offered “ drunk yoga.”Ĭruz claimed he went there because his daughters wanted a vacation. That’s like a normal person naming his dog Ted Cruz.īut it looked as though he finally nailed the populist costume when he took off for Cancún from Houston as people in Texas burned their furniture during power failures amid the lowest temperatures in decades.Ĭancún is spot-on populist. “I actually thought it was a wonderful culmination of Michael Corleone.” When Cruz tries to talk about normal stuff, he sounds like Borat.Ĭruz understood that calling someone a “snowflake” is a cruel insult to level at your enemies. When asked what his favorite movies are, he named the Godfather … trilogy.
Then Cruz fumbled the moment and blamed a staffer for pressing “like” on his Twitter account. That’s not the same strong, populist game as having sex with a porn star and then paying her off to keep quiet about it in a way that will make sure every person on Earth knows about it. Or Squee.įour years ago, Cruz “liked” a porn video on Twitter. He grows a beard like the survivalists do but styles it like a kombucha salesman.īorn Rafael, Cruz calls himself Ted, which is just shy of a real populist name like Chase or Blake. But he screwed it up, getting a haircut that is business in the front but barely two months of pandemic in the back. He got a mullet, which is brilliant anti-elitist behavior.
WASHINGTONPOST TED CRUZ DAUGHTERS MANUALS
He’s read all the manuals about how normal Americans think, dress, act and talk. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) speaks to the media at the Cancún International Airport before boarding his plane back to the United States on Feb. Opinion: Ted Cruz wants to be a populist.
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